Celery: In Fact, around the produce section, I'm known as a bit of a playboy. So she says she heard it was the Onion, But Onion, he's like, "I'm not the one dropping stinkbombs over here!" (laughs)
Orange: Hey, hey, Celery!
Orange: Hey, Celery, hey!
Celery: W-W-What is it, Orange?
Orange: I bet you..uhh....you...umm...uhh..
Celery: What do you want?
Orange: (sighs) I don't know.
Celery: Yeah, whatever. So, anyway..................
Cabbage: Hey, what's the matter with you, Orange?
Orange: Oh, hey, Cabbage.
Cabbage: Man, oh, man, Orange, you look awful.
Orange: (sighs) Yeah.
Cabbage: You feeling down?
Orange: I guess I just don't see the point.
Cabbage: Of what? Making fun of Celery?
Orange: Well, everyone I talk to just gets chopped up, I mean, any second now, someone's gonna pick up Celery and we'll never see him again!
Cabbage: Pick up Celery? Come on, Orange! Celery can't even get a date!
Celery: What? No, I can get a date, dude, anytime I want!
Cabbage: No way, man! Everyone knows you're a "stalker"! (mockingly laughs) Get it, Orange? He's a "stalker"!
Cabbage: You know why you're in a funk?
Orange: 'Cause I'm sitting too close to Onion?
Onion: You smelt it, you dealt it, buddy.
Orange: Yeah, maybe.
Cabbage: Maybe? That's not the Orange I know! The Orange I know would've said, (Imitates Orange) "Ewwww! Baseball is smelly! Somebody threw a stinkball!"
Orange: (chuckles) Yeah.
Cabbage: He'd-a said, "Gross! Onions making grunions!"
Orange: (chuckles) Grunions. (starts laughing)
Onion: (sniffs) Knock it off, Cabbage!
Cabbage: Oh? If I'm lyin', then you're cryin'!
Orange: (laughs) It's true 'cause it rhymes!
Onion: I'm not crying! There's something in my eye.
Orange: Yeah, stink-eye. (laughs)
Cabbage: (particily laughs) That's what I'm talkin' about!
Orange: Hey, Cabbage, thanks for the lift!
Cabbage: That's how we do, Orange!
Orange: Yeah, you're a real taxi cabbage! (laughs)
Cabbage: Yeah, yeah, that's funny, Orange. (chuckles)
Orange: Hey, Cabbage, know why you're so smart? 'Cause you've got a big head! (laughs)
Cabbage: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's funny, Orange.
Orange: Hey, Cabbage, why are you embarrassed? Is it 'cause you saw the salad dressing? (laughs)
(Onion and Celery join in with the laughing)
Cabbage: Okay, that's enough, Orange! You can stop!
Orange: I would, but you won't "lettuce"! (laughs)
(Celery and Onion join in with the laughing)
Cabbage: Oh, so that's how it is? I try to help out and you stab me in the back!
Orange: Geez, you sound like a real "Caesar" salad! (laughs)
Cabbage: Caesar salad? I don't get it.
Orange: You know, "Caesar"? Stabbed in the back? Knife?
Cabbage: Yeah, still not gettin' it.
(Knife appears and slices Cabbage)
Cabbage: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Noooooooooo!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Orange: It's a cole-slaughter! (weak laugh from Orange) Ow!
(Cabbage stops getting cut up)
Orange: (groans) I liked Cabbage, too. He was funny.
Onion: Hey, Orange umm... I'm really sorry about Cabbage.
Orange: (sighs) Thanks, Onion.
Onion: Man, just goes to show ya. You never know when your time's-
(Knife appears slicing Onion)