Mark the Red Pepper: Terrifying moment for a nectarine who woke up to a knife trying to slice her in half. The woman screamed, and a friend came to the rescue trying to fight the knife off. The incident happened early this morning in a kitchen off of Hey Apple! Avenue. WBBK11's Elizabeth Eggplant caught up with a victim. Elizabeth, emotions were running high!
(The scene cuts to Elizabeth Eggplant, standing outside Daneboe's house in a suburban neighborhood)
Elizabeth Eggplant: And Mark, the victim tells us a knife tried to cut her in half. Her friend came in, and tried to help her out, but the knife got away leaving behind though evidence of it's visit. (The scene cuts to the kitchen) Nancy Nectarine was fast asleep on her own counter minding her own business when...
Nancy Nectarine: Well, I was attacked by some idiot in the kitchen.
Elizabeth: Nancy says that someone came in to the kitchen, and tried to use a giant butcher knife to slice her in half.
Nancy Nectarine: He tried to slice me. He tried to cut my peel off!
(The scene cuts to Orange, wearing a red bandana on his so-called head.)
Elizabeth: Nearby, Orange heard his friend scream, and tried to help, spitting seeds at the attacker until left, but not before it was able to slice a kiwi and three limes.
(The scene shows two cucumbers wearing police caps observing a sliced kiwi and limes)
Orange: Well, obviously, we have a knife in the kitchen. He's climbin' in your windows, choppin' your people up, so you better hide your kids, hide your wives, and hide your husbands, cause he's slicin' everybody out there.
Elizabeth: The knife ended up getting away, but Orange has this message to who ever is responsible.
Orange: You're an apple! Do you know that? You don't have to confess that you did it! We're lookin' for you! We're gonna find you! And I'm letting you know that! You can run and tell that... Knife!
Elizabeth: Now, if you have any information on this crime, you are urged to call the local police. Back to you, Mark.
Mark the Red Pepper: Wow! Thanks, Elizabeth! I guess that's just one more good reason why you should lock your doors at night. What's going on!?
-Orange: Knife? -Mark the Red Pepper: (screams)
(The scene cuts to Technical Difficulties Apple sitting next to a broken T.V. set. Waiting music plays. The caption reads, "Sorry. We're experiencing some technical difficulties." Orange appears again.)
Orange (autotuned singing): He's climbin' in your windows, choppin' your people up.
All: Choppin', choppin'. So you'd better hide your kids, hide your wives, hide your kids, hide your wives, hide your kids, hide your wives.
Orange: And hide your husbands 'cause he's slicin' everybody out there.
All: You don't have to come and confess. You don't have to come and confess.
All: We're lookin' for you. We're gonna to find you. We're gonna find you. So you can run and tell that, run and tell that, run and tell that knife, knife. Knife, knife, knife, knife. (last two knifes echo)
(Cuts to the credits roll with an orange asking the fruit question of the day "Antoine or Orange?")
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