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Transcript


(The screen shows an old TV on with the picture going fuzzy.)

Orange: Don't look now, guys, but I think we're all set... for a scary-movie sleepover!

Marshmallow and Midget Apple: Yay!

Pear: Well, technically, it's not a sleepover, since we pretty much sleep here every night--

Grapefruit: Hey! Down in front! I'm trying to watch this!

(A warping noise is heard as swirly lines appear on the old TV.)

Orange: Hey, that's not scary, it's swirly. (laughs) Ha-ha-ha-ha!

TV: Hey, how come you guys are using the old haunted TV?

Pear: Uh... did he just say... HAUNTED?!

(A face appears on the Old Haunted TV.)

Old Haunted TV: (growls lowly)

(The Old Haunted TV starts to suck Orange, Pear, Midget Apple, Marshmallow and Grapefruit into it.)

Pear: Aaaaahhhhh!!!!

Midget Apple: Aaaaaahhhh!!!!!

Marshmallow: Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!

Grapefruit: Aaaaaaaaaahhhh!

Orange: Aah! No fair! We're already on TV!

(title card shows)

(The screen shows Orange and Midget Apple in a bedroom. Midget Apple is on a bed, shaking.)

Orange: What's the matter, Midget Apple? You seem a "little" scared. (laughs) Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Midget Apple: (shudders)

Orange: Whoa. I just called you a midget and you didn't even correct me. Something must be wrong.

Midget Apple: Orange, I... I... I see bread people!

Orange: Huh?

(The screen zooms out to show some giant floating gingerbeard men as vampires.)

Orange and Midget Apple: Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!!

(The screen goes static and then shows Orange rolling on the floor in a different room before stopping.)

Orange: Well, it looks like you Hallo-win again. (laughs) Ha-ha-ha-ha! (A hand holding a knife appears.) What? You want a good "knife" kiss? (laughs) Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(The screen zooms out to show Michael Myers from Halloween with his mask on. A bolt of lightning flashes while thunder is heard crashing.)

Orange: Wait, before I die, I've got to know.

Michael Myers: (shakes his head) Mm-mm.

(The screen zooms in on Orange.)

Orange: Oh, come on, just a peek. Just a peek. (Jason takes his mask off.) (gasps) Oh, no!

(The screen zooms out to show Jason with his face visible.)

Michael Myers: Stab-edelic, baby, yeah!

Orange: (screams) Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!

(The screen goes static again and shows Midget Apple moving back as he gets attacked by Orange as Count Dracula.)

Midget Apple: Ah, no, please! Spare me! Spare me!

Orange: Aw, don't be scared. I just want a "little" snack. (A few of his teeth turn into fangs.)

Midget Apple: (screams) Aaaaahhhh!

(Grandpa Lemon appears as Abraham Van Helsing, holding a flaming match.)

Grandpa Lemon: Orangeferatu, your reign of terror is over.

Orange: Grandpa Van Helsing!

Midget Apple: Oh, thank goodness!

Grandpa Lemon: Stand away, Little Apple, while I drive this steak through his heart. (takes T-Bone)

T-Bone: Whoa, that was not part of the deal!

Orange: Hey! Hey, T-Bone!

(record scratches)

T-Bone: What?!

Orange: Fangs! (starts eating T-Bone.)

T-Bone: (screams in agony) Aaaaaahhhh!!!!!!

Grandpa Lemon: Ouch, well, I guess he likes it rare.

(The screen goes static again and shows Pear sleeping on the kitchen counter. The screen is in black and white and shows text saying that it is a camera, and showing the time.)

Pear: (snoring)

(Orange's laugh echoes)

Orange: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Pear: (wakes up) (startled) W-what?! What-- what was that?

(Orange's laugh echoes)

Orange: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Pear: What are you doing?

Orange: I saw a ghost.

Pear: No, you didn't.

Orange: Yeah, I did. He's right there.

(The screen zooms out to show one of the ghosts from Pac-Man.)

Ghost: What's up, dude?

Pear: (screams) Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

(The screen goes static again and shows Orange, Pear, Midget Apple and Marshmallow in a pyramid next to an Egyptian mummy's tomb.)

Pear: Uh, guys? Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, what if there's a mummy inside?

Marshmallow: Yay! My mummy is a unicorn!

(The tomb opens to show a round mummy.)

Mummy: (moans)

Pear: Okay, it's definitely time to go!

Marshmallow: Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

Orange: You heard Pear. It's a "wrap." (laughs) Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(The mummy starts chasing them, as the toilet paper starts to come off.)

(others scream)

Midget Apple: Oh no! It's chasing us!

Pear: Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!

(all of the fruits scream, the mummy moans)

(all of the fruits pant as they stop.)

Orange: Whoa! Talk about a paper trail. (laughs uneasily)

Midget Apple: Did... did we lose him?

(A shadow of an unwrapped toilet roll appears.)

Mummy: (groans)

Orange: Aaaaaah!!!!

(The screen shows the mummy, who had all of his toilet paper come off.)

Mummy: Oh, no! I'm naked!

Orange: Whoa! That's one bad mummy. (laughs)

(The screen goes static again and shows Orange sleeping on the kitchen counter.)

Orange: (snores) (wakes up) (startled) Wha-- huh? Oh... Hey. Hey, prune-face! Hey, prune-face, hey!

Prune: What? What do you want?

Orange: No, not you. Prune face.

Prune: Huh? (gets sliced by some claws) Aah!

Orange: Whuh!

(The pieces of Prune move off. The screen zooms out to show Freddy from A Nightmare on Elm Street.)

Freddy: Looks like he needed a lesson in... "claws" and effect. (chuckles with Orange)

Orange: Yeah, and he "gloved" every minute of it. (laughs) Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Freddy: Oh, my. I get the feeling you might be a "cut" above the rest.

Orange: Wuh-oh. I bet this is gonna turn into a "flame" war.

Orange and Freddy: (laugh) Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Freddy: You're on, but first, let's shake on it. (chuckles evilly)

Orange: I don't know, Freddy. I think I might be "sweater" off dead. (laughs) Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Freddy: (laughs) Ha-ha-ha! Oh, that is so good. I'd write it down but--

Orange: You need a hand?

Orange and Freddy: (both laugh) Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Freddy: Oh, man! Are you into Mad Libs?

(The screen goes static again and shows the TV and Old Haunted TV.)

Old Haunted TV: (chuckles evilly) Ha-ha-ha!

TV: Lame! What else you got?

Old Haunted TV: I don't know. You just wanna watch The Shining?

TV: Yeah. We might as well-- (groans as his picture goes static and then shows his blue picture again but with his face replaced by Orange.)

Orange: Hey! Hey, Haunted TV!

Old Haunted TV: What?! How did you escape?!

Orange: Hey, Haunted TV, hey!

Old Haunted TV: I see you, okay?! Now, what do you want?!

Orange: I was just gonna say... knife!

Old Haunted TV: Huh?

(Michael Myers appears with a knife.)

Michael Myers: Judo chop! (stabs Old Haunted TV)

Old Haunted TV: (low-pitch scream) Aaah!! (short-circuits appear)

Orange: Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!

(The Old Haunted TV explodes.)

(The end credits show, with a clip from Kitchen Decision 2012.)

Orange: Brrrrrrrroccoli Obama!

Broccoli Obama: (chuckles) Just call me Brocc.

Orange: And his opponent, former governor Pit Romney!

Pit Romney: Good evening, hello, hi.

Orange: All right, first question...

(video ends)

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