Orange: (mumbling) I'm bored. (to Dane Boedigheimer as he arrives with a paper bag and puts it on the counter) Whoa! Who's that? What do you have?

Passion Fruit: (as Dane Boedigheimer carries her out of the bag) Hey! Watch the merchandise, buddy!

Orange: Whoa!

Passion Fruit: Oh! Hey! How's it goin'?

Orange: Hey! Uh, uh, I'm an orange.

Passion Fruit: Uh, are you okay?

Orange: You're beautiful!

Passion Fruit: (laughing) No. I'm just a passion fruit.

Orange: More like "Passion Cute!"

Passion Fruit: Uh, that's Passion Fruit.

Orange: I'm an orange!

Passion Fruit: Yeah! I like your peel, dimples are totally adorable!

(Orange laughs nervously)

Grapefruit: (as Daneboe carries him out of the bag): I swear to God! You put me down right now or you're gonna see some kung fu voodoo!

Passion Fruit: Grapefruit?! Wow! I can't believe you made it!

Orange: Oh. You know him?

Grapefruit: You know it, buddy. (cackling)

Passion Fruit: It's not like that, we met in the bag on the way over.

Grapefruit: Hey, who's the kumquat? Is he a friend of yours?

Passion Fruit: We just met. He's been, you know, keeping me company.

Grapefruit: Hey Passion! Do you watch me flex? Check it out! (He begins flexing his face)

Passion Fruit: (rolling her eyes) Uh, yeah! You did that earlier.

(Grapefruit flexes again)

Orange: (referring to Grapefruit) Hey! Is that chubby orange gonna fart?

Grapefruit: Whoa! Did that twerp just call me chubby?!

Passion Fruit: Uhhhh......

Orange: Yeah! You really let yourself go! They should call you Chubby McChubby Orange... 'cause you're chubby. (laughing)

Grapefruit: Hey, (censored), I'm a (censored) grapefruit! Do you know what that means?!

Orange: Whoa! Chubby McChubby's got a potty mouth!

Grapefruit: It means I can kick your (censored) 6 ways from (censored)!

Passion Fruit: Is that really necessary?

Grapefruit: Hey, Orange! I'm talking to you! How many squats can you do, huh?

Orange: What's a squat?

Grapefruit: Exactly! Let me spell it out for you: chicks dig the grapefruit! Ain't that right, baby?

Passion Fruit: Uh, not really.

Grapefruit: Oh, Orange, you're out of your league! You should go hit on a blueberry or something!(chuckles)

Orange: "Grapefruit?" More like "Apefruit!" Are you chubby 'cause you ate all the bananas? (laughing)

Grapefruit: Hey! Zip the lip, Onion Dip!

Orange: I'm not an onion!

Grapefruit: You're right. You're a grape.

Orange: Nu-uh. No, I'm not!

Grapefruit: Then why are you so full of "wine" (whine?) (laughing) Ohh!

Passion Fruit: (to Grapefruit) Shut up! What is wrong with you?! Seriously, you think I care about flexing?! And why are you talking about "squats?!" You don't even have legs!

(Orange laughs)

Passion Fruit: (to Orange) And you! Who cares if he's a little, you know, round?! All you do is make weird noises and call him "fat!" How shallow are you?!

Orange: I'm not "shallow," I'm an orange.

Passion Fruit: Wow! What is wrong with me? This happens every time I go out: it's always the jerk and the weirdo. If that's the choices, I'd rather take-

Orange: Knife?

Passion Fruit: Huh!?

Orange: Knife...

(Grapefruit screams as Dane Boedigheimer slices him in half)

Passion Fruit: Oh my god!

Orange: (as Grapefruit is sliced in half) Whoa! Grapefruit's beside himself!

(Grapefruit starts screaming as Daneboe spreads sugar on one half of him) Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow! Do you know how much this hurts?! (continues screaming and Passion Fruit watches in horror)

Orange: Well, hey! At least he's not such a sourpuss now! (laughing) Oooo! Ow!

(Grapefruit screams as Daneboe scoops some of his insides out and then takes him away)

Passion Fruit: That's the most messed up thing I've ever seen!

Orange: You should have seen Tomato, that was bad.

Passion Fruit: This kitchen is awful. How do you stand it?

Orange: Oh, it's not so bad, just ask Pear.

Pear: Somebody, please! Kill me now!